Goodie Goodie Gum Drops.

There was a time in my past when I didn’t own a full length mirror.  Actually–I STILL DON’T OWN ONE and it’s been a couple of years.  How is this possible you say?  It broke while moving, and I never replaced it.  I swear I went to Target to buy one for at least 3 weeks, and every time I went (several locations mind you), they were sold out.  SOLD OUT!!!  Isn’t that insane?! Well, what’s more insane, is that I haven’t had one in a loooong time and I work in RETAIL.  Not having a reflective device is usually my excuse when I’m wearing something atrocious and I get to work and take a looksie and realize, OH DEAR LORD, I’m extremely uncomfortable now. 

This unfortunately sort of happened to me today.  Yes I had other choices this morning, but it was dark, and it was raining, so I chose the longer sleeved striped top instead of the basic black short sleeve. Oh well; it was fine and now I’m home, so whatever.  I don’t have any pictures to show of  it–I know, you’re disappointed–but only because it really wasn’t THAT bad.  I was just awkward all day because it wasn’t quite me. Womp womp.

BUUTTT…the successful part about this post is that it reminded me of one of the greatest outfits of all time.  And THIS I do have a picture of.

Back in the day, I would get up even earlier than I do now (for the most part), and during that time in the fall, it’s creepier than The Dark Crystal outside.  My bedroom must have been ill-lighted that morning, because for some reason, I chose to experiment with several different items all together to create one schizo ensemble.  Why couldn’t I have put on a simple dress with tights?  Or jeans and a t-shirt?  Hmmpf?  Or even just left my hair alone and put boots on instead?

No one can answer these questions.

So, the story goes like this:

I show up to work, take a look at myself in the mirror, probably apologize to my team, but then I proceed to own it most of the day.  Then lunch time comes around and a co-worker (and still great friend) asks to take a picture of me.  At this point, I realize that maybe I really wasn’t owning it (they were all holding back extreme laughter) and I REALLY DO look ridiculous.  I allow her the photo. She posts it on MYSPACE–you heard me–MYSPACE, and I freak out telling her to take it down.  She finds this hysterical because I tried to act like the outfit was okay–when I knew it was horrendous.  The end of the story is, she KEPT IT this whole time, and I just yesterday asked her to send it to me, so I could post it for all the world to see.

Phew.  This is great.  I’m cleaning out the skeletons folks.  Excuse the quality, since this was years ago, and she took it with her Nokia.  BBAAAHAHAHAHA.

Here I am:

Exceptional!  Let’s break this down.

1. Red 80s flats that make your feet look extra long.  Check.

2. Purple ankle-length pants.  Check.

3. Dirty man-tee that’s too baggy around the waist and but tight around the bootie.  Check.

4. Zack Morris peach wind-breaker.  Check.

5. Oh! Don’t forget it’s cold outside.  Printed green and cream scarf around your neck.  Check.

6. Fantastic.  Nothing like topping it off with a nice floral hair piece to pull the whole look together.  Off-white-home-made-faux-flower-hair-comb.  Check.

Wasn’t that fun?!!!  If you ever need advice on how to wear several items at once, I suggest you print this list out and keep it in your wallet for safe keeping.  In fact, print out THE PICTURE in case you’re a visual person, like me.

I’ll probably never get this image out of my head, however, I WILL probably re-create something like this by accident someday.  Hopefully then another friend will be there to take a photo of me.  I should start a collection.  I do have some old pics from 7th grade I could share……

Wouldn’t you like to see!!!!  Muuahh ahhh ahhh….

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This entry was posted in Comedy, Fashion, Los Angeles, Styling, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Goodie Goodie Gum Drops.

  1. Kristina Rachel Bing Smith says:

    This filled my heart with warmth. Literally laughing out loud! So good Rachel. Also I loved the other tees you would wear that werent long enough to be a normal tee and weren’t short enough to be a crop top.. Awkward yes!!

  2. Besty says:

    WHAT THE FRICK!!! bahahhaha this is amazing. i love it. i wear atrocious things that don’t make sonse all the tam. and it feels GREAT!

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